Couples Therapy
EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) for couples, both online and in-person
Did your relationship used to look like this…?
But it’s been feeling more like this…?
You are not alone.
Do any of these sound familiar?
I was just trying to help!
You see your partner struggling and it sucks! You want to offer advice, suggestions, or even know-how in an area you are very familiar in. But when you try to bring it up, your partner just gets angry and can’t seem to see you’re coming from a good place of wanting to help. Could your partner ever understand you just want to be there for them and that you could actually be a huge help?
Can’t you see me trying?
You do so many things for this relationship. Maybe you’re the main breadwinner; or maybe you take care of things around the house; or keep up with all the appointments and million “little” things that keep the family afloat. Whatever it is you’re doing, it feels as though your partner doesn’t see it. Instead, it feels like your efforts go unnoticed…and so do you. Could your partner ever truly see and appreciate just how hard you are trying?
Why can’t you have my back?
Maybe it’s a family member…maybe it’s a friend or other loved one. But sometimes it feels as though your space, time, or energy as a couple is not being respected by others. And you just need your partner to have your back on this! But when you try to talk about it, it somehow turns into an argument. Will it ever feel like your partner is here with you, stepping up to the plate for you?
I am just so…tired.
You have been trying for so long to get your partner to see you…to hear you. And to talk to you. But no matter how hard you try, it doesn’t seem to make a difference. And now you’re so tired from trying, you’re not sure if you have it in you to keep going. Will your partner ever be able to meet you where you are so it doesn’t feel like you have to go the distance for the both of you?
Please give me some space!
Something happens…Maybe it’s a big thing. Maybe it’s a little thing. All you know is, you’re feeling some type of way about it (or maybe your partner is) but you aren’t sure yet exactly what it is you’re feeling or why. You need some time and space to think about it so you don’t say or do anything you might regret. But your partner needs to talk right now! This feels risky…very risky. Can your partner ever give you the space you need (but not be mad about it)?
I just want to know how you feel!
You love your partner. Your partner loves you. You know this deep down, but you’re also curious about some of the in-between stuff. You want to know your partner’s thoughts and feelings about certain things…so why does it feel like they never want to share those things? Like there’s some kind of wall up? Could your partner ever understand you’re here to support them and that their feelings are not a burden to you?
In couples therapy, both you and your partner will have the chance to:
Gain insight into where and how you’re getting stuck. Disconnection can happen so fast…in a matter of seconds! Understanding the cycle of where the disconnect happens for you as a couple is the first step to reconnecting.
Build safety and comfort with talking about feelings. You’ll learn how to effectively share and hear the hard stuff…but also the good stuff! Because sometimes even the good stuff can get lost when there’s disconnection.
Finally feel seen and heard. Through making careful space for each other’s experiences, you will have the chance not just to understand each other cognitively, but to actually get a sense of what it’s felt like to walk in your partner’s shoes. And experience the immense relief when your partner finally gets it.
Reconnect! Remember that person you fell in love with? When making intentional space to reconnect, it can feel like reuniting with your long lost love…and often there can be connection in completely new and deeper ways.
Are you ready to reconnect?
